I am writing this blog post on love and need. For the man or woman who may be out there searching for a loved one because they are lonely.
I’ve seen so many people that are single and are depressed because they don’t have a man or woman in their life and they are lonely.
First of all, attraction and love making will not keep a relationship to last. You need a combination of things to make it work.
#1 Be of the same mindset, both believe in God or not believe. Even better to be of the same denomination or same belief.
#2 Are you both emotional stable?
#3 Are you adaptable and flexible?
#4 Can you both give and receive love?
#5 Do you have empathy for one another? For others?
#6 Similarities in all aspects of life?
#7 Good communication skills?
#8 Do you come from a similar background?
#9 Age. A man should not be more than about 7 years more than a woman and a woman should not be more than about 3 years from her man. Although this is not saying it could not work it should be considered.
Can they communicate effectively with you on all levels?
Do they have a temper ? Do they cry and whine a lot? Do they need to be held 24/7. Do they give and take? These are all things under emotional instability.
Do they understand and feel for you as you feel for them? Can you understand a pain or a sadness as well as they can? Empathy.
Do you both have the same interests? If not it divides you because one wants to stay at home and one wants to go to a fair? One wants to shop and one wants to stay at home? One doesn’t like road trips , but one drinks the other does not. Similarities is important.
Age and attraction can be an issue as you grow older. Sometimes a younger man reverts to a younger woman. Know the dangers of a commitment to a younger men. And vice versa, sometimes a man too old can and a woman reverts back to a younger man.
Last but not least you:
Don’t be needy. It smothers the other person. If you’re attracted to someone and you have most of the above, then let it happen naturally. If it’s meant to be and you both are of the same accord it will happen. If you chase someone down, stalk, pin them down they may not be meant for you and you actually forced a relationship that was never meant to be in the first place.
Men: Quit calling women pet names. Unless you are involved with them, I personally find it repulsive. On Facebook when you are stalking a woman and you call her honey, baby, sunshine. She’s not your honey yet don’t call her pet names. That’s when I run. I know your needy and your line is: I love long walks in the park, I love holding hands and long kisses. All that tells a strong woman or vice versa a man is that you are needy. And all you are looking for is anyone to either make love to or anyone will do because you are in need of someone. That is emotional instability.
I feel, my opinion that a friendly relationship should be established. A relationship you have similarities and can share and enjoy one another before making love. Do you enjoy spending the day together? Do you enjoy eating together, if yes then the love may live.
You have to care for one another, the empathy, to understand their needs as well as they understand your needs.
Lust can overcome and ruin years of your life because you only had one thing in common. Don’t lust after anyone. Its immature. It’s not guaranteed forever. If you do lust make sure you have all the other key factors before making a commitment on lust.
It’s a normal action to see, lust, want, get. But as you learn through life that it doesn’t always last and other factors need to be considered for a long healthy relationship. By the time you are 60 you should have developed a relationship with yourself first. Developing a relationship with yourself helps insure you are emotionally stable.
Jealousy is an unstable emotion. If you are 100% satisfied with yourself you would not get jealous.One of the many reasons men and women bicker is over jealousy. Eliminate it by being happy with you. It’s one step towards maturity.
Complaining is another thing many couples have problems with. Why do you complain? Because you don’t agree? Again similar beliefs are a major factor in a relationship. Complaining, whining, trying to get your way? Selfish, emotional insecurity.
Recognize the signs. It takes a lot of work and emotional stability and maturity for many to be involved in an everlasting relationship.
I’m not saying that you can’t stay together for a life time with out the key qualities, some people find a way, but if you are are feeling alone , single and have been through bad relationships maybe it’s time to look in the mirror.
Take a break.